The other day I was talking to a friend and she was describing how she felt after someone special to her had suddenly passed away, "I felt like my heart was ripped open." I totally understood that feeling and quickly welled up with tears. When we come into this world I believe we are born with open hearts and over time layers of our experiences protect and cover up that beautiful heart of ours. For some it is a death, being told you have cancer, a disappointment or a realization that rips our hearts open. It is so painful we might not be able to feel anything at first but with that heart "ripped open" at the seams we are given a choice to feel and learn or patch it up quickly and move forward without reflection. If you chose to feel it I believe there can be beauty in the pain.
I find that one day my heart is patched up, moving on and other days its wide open. Do we need a tragic event to open us up again? Have we had chances along the way to open our hearts but we didn't recognize them? How do we keep that feeling of an overwhelming love, acceptance and inner openness everyday? I wish I knew the answers.
All I know is that I wouldn't trade this ripped up old heart for anything and I can only do my best everyday. Breast Cancer has given me a gift of slowing down my life enough to actually feel it and I am grateful.
Happy Valentines Day!
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